noting applause

thesis journal entry #2

The audience tonight was composed of La Salle's night students; I was surprised actually, I didn't expect La Salle to have classes for career people. A group of them were even deaf-mutes, so they didn't hear the music, but that didn't seem to kill the experience for them. The organizers prepped the audience before the show about how to be an audience for ballet, including encouraging them to clap when they felt impressed with what was going on onstage. It was interesting to notice that they enthusiastically clapped each time a difficult-looking lift was done, or when anyone did fouette turns (really fast turns in one spot with one leg propelling the body around - fouette means "to whip"), or when we kicked our legs up really high. I don't think they knew quite how to react to the boys, so there wasn't really any applause when the boys did their tricks ("tricks" is colloquially what we call the difficult steps for male dancers). They did clap enthusiastically for Nino after his "Sa Ugoy Ng Duyan" solo, but then solos should get that kind of attention. Overall, the audience were receptive and attentive and honestly appreciative. They weren't going "Whooaaaa..." all the time, like the six-graders did.

We finished the show with Classical Symphony, which was choreographed by Anatoli, mainly according to the Classical Ballet aesthetic of pure lines and prettiness. I was thinking, while putting on my tiara for this piece, that if I were to write a paper or review this for publication, I would point out that it was called Classical Symphony yet the music Anatoly uses aren't quite pieces from the Classical period, whether from the Classical period of music or the Classical period of Dance. Still, it works as a showpiece; nobody from the audience I think is going to nitpick about that.

At one point of the first dance (Classical Symphony has four dances in it, an entrada, two variations, and a coda, but we only performed three dances tonight), towards the end, the girls are doing swift passe retires while the boys are jumping temps leves with entrechats, and as everyone is moving as one big unit, the audience erupts into applause. If you're going to show ballet to people who probably have never seen any ballet before, pieces like Classical Symphony is probably what they're expecting and what they'll be most appreciative of.

Near the stage, a few rows from the front, sat a little girl, perhaps the daughter of one of the working students. Every so often, my eyes would be drawn towards her because her arms would be slowly flailing every which way, as she was dancing along with us. It was the cutest thing.

we need the money...

thesis journal entry #1

Rehearsing for the La Salle show tomorrow. My brother Lucas has joked that PBT is now the resident dance company for La Salle Greenhills because we've danced there already four times within the last two months. It's strange to dance for an all-boys private school, they're not the kind of audience I'd expect would really appreciate ballet. So far, they like seeing the girls lift up their legs. Well, they could really have enjoyed watching us dance, but we can never really know for sure what they thought exactly.

My problem with dancing for a private school is they think they can call us over for an 8am show and think it shouldn't be difficult for us. They don't know that we have to be warmed up and made up by eight and we need to take class at 6 so that we can be warm enough for a performance at 8, meaning we have to be up by 5 to make it to class at 6. I know regular people are awake by 5 to get their days going, I just find it inhumane to people who normally start their working days at 2 in the afternoon.

Oh well. To quote Anatoli, though, "We need the money."

He said that in reply to my concern: "What if the La Salle boys laugh at Nino?" Nino is dancing a solo for tomorrow's show, a modern piece set to "Sa Ugoy Ng Duyan," both dance and song bearing the same title. The piece is, I think, about an old man remembering his younger life - the old man thing I got from this gesture that starts the piece, Nino is sitting on a chair and he starts shaking his hand as if he has arthritis. He leaps and stretches throughout the dance, abruptly interrupting these graceful movements with jarred agitations throughout his body, as if he is going insane all of a sudden and then stopping and dancing fluidly again. I think the La Salle boys will watch this and find it hilarious, which is a shame because Nino does it incredibly well - quite impressive really, since he had only learned the dance over the weekend.

We'll see tomorrow. I'm really glad though that the show tomorrow is at 6 in the evening and not at 8 in the morning.

Dancing highlight of my day: I kinda rehearsed Tzigane. Kinda because I am not the one actually rehearsing it, Kit is dancing Tzigane with Ron tomorrow. I'm made to learn the dance so that I can perform it in the future. I don't know what my chances are of actually dancing it, but it's fun to do. Kinda also because, since we're doing it in the back while Kit and Ron are rehearsing and I'm not wearing my pointe shoes, I didn't dance it full out, I just marked it. I marked it because we're performing it in the back, plus I'm not wearing my pointe shoes, plus Nino, who's my partner in this dance, is still in the process of memorizing it. The little that we actually did was really nice, though. Maybe I'm just blowing smoke out my ass but I really think that when I do Tzigane in its entirety, I will do it really well. I hope.

cleaning out the clutter

My Research prof thinks I'm still not quite sure what I want to do with my thesis exactly. Now, I have to admit, I super agree. I think much of my angst has been because I've been trying to defend ballet as something worthy of study. I realize now that she was negative about my thesis then because of this problem - I was too busy being defensive about ballet having significance that the essence of what was so significant hardly existed. I had a few ideas here and there and I was trying to construct an entire paper on those scattered ideas.

Anyway, she tells me that I shouldn't feel bad if I'm still confused and asking a lot of questions about what I want to focus on. (I blame it on my doing too too many things.) She suggests I really narrow it down and make it easy on myself by writing about what's closest to my heart. Obviously, ballet, but what about ballet? I guess I still want to write about the pas de deux, I just got too excited about including folk and ethnic dance in it that I'm getting too in over my head again. When do I have time to really go into the field and do the required research? Especially when I'm already dancing full time and trying to get extra stuff in? Point!!! Perhaps, match point even.

So she made me write a thesis journal. This week will be important because from the seven entries I discuss with her next week, we'll figure out what I am really passionate about in the here and now. Or I suspect that's what I'm doing this for. In this journal, I will write down all my ballet thoughts and observations and questions. I have super a lot. This journal will help me find my focus.

I'm super admitting it here: I have none. (Let's say it again: I blame it on my doing too too many things!) I have all these thoughts running around in my head like headless chickens but focus? Focus is the name of the Body Shop perfume oil my parents gave me as a graduation present, partly because it smells so me and partly to remind me that I should try to have focus.

So I will keep this thesis journal, all the way through while writing this thesis, and post here in my sleepyhouse. I will also post about other stuff, don't worry. Who knows, it will help me focus for the rest of my writing as well.

(Off the record, I kinda suspect that my Prof may believe I'm not bright enough to write this thesis. Some days, I agree wholeheartedly. Other days, I'm thinking, hey, just because I'm sexy doesn't mean I don't have a brain! But lately, yes, I've been feeling I'm not bright enough to write this thesis. Or maybe, not all there. I'd rather, you know, do sexy brainless ditz stuff. *twirls hair on forefinger*)

the last of the redlight specials

awardee of the remaining redlight specials from now on


Happy birthday lovey. Hope you get a lot of work done today. (I know you slept well, hehe).

two days, to daze

I had two days off from my real life, which strangely included blogging. I didn't sleep the entire time, I decided against sleeping the days off because I wanted to regulate my sleeping hours and have time for other stuff. I managed to get a lot of stuff done, given that I was online a lot (not blogging, just surfing and emailing and reading other people's blogs, though I did start a meme on my LJ which I will talk about later) and talking to Mikah a lot also. But then talking to Mikah is like breathing, so.

Harhar, Joelle is a cornball.

I give you bulletpoints again. If the bulletpoints are getting on your nerves, please bear with them for now, I'll get back to my regular blogging groove soon. For now, be lucky you even have bulletpoints. Hehe.

On my days off, I was able to:

• Do four loads of laundry. My mom hadn't done any laundry before she left for Bora and I wasn't able to do any laundry while they were there and neither of us had done any laundry when she got back until yesterday. It was all me. I did whites, then blacks, then coloreds, then a bunch of pants. Daddy said, "Isang linggo ka nang naglalaba, ah." Yeah, it would seem like it. It's a week's worth of laundry, at the very least. I also folded my clothes and my mom's clothes and some of Jacqui's clothes that I thought were my mom's. She thought I folded them all and thanked me. Then, cursed me when I said, "Oh, I didn't fold yours." I had good reason though. Jacqui is very particular about how things are and I didn't want to fold her clothes and have her peeved at me because I folded them the wrong way. Though I do fold clothes very well, I must admit.

• Work on my thesis. I finalized the methodologies I was going to use and the outline of the thesis. I'm pretty sure it won't satisfy my icky-picky Research teacher (which I love regardless) but I don't care what she thinks of it, I'm very glad I had gotten that toe through the door. I emailed it today. I can't wait to discuss it, even if she tells me all the things I've overlooked, when I go to school on Monday.

• Watch American Idol. All the people I wanted to see get through got through. You don't know how exciting that is. It's the same with Manhunt, my other current favorite show - now the top three include my manok and Jacqui's manok and this guy we used to like but now don't. We're hoping he gets booted out next Tuesday.

My manok, Jon

Jacqui's manok, Rob

• Play catch up with my LJ community. Some of them blog on their LJs like thrice a day sometimes. There's a lot I hadn't been reading. I did appropriate this cool writing exercise where people ask you a surreal, unusual or fantastical question and you reply with a blog entry dedicated to that person. I don't post rabidly on LJ so this will give me an opportunity to make regular posts. If you want, you can check it out here and ask me a question as well. You can also ask Mikah a question as well, he's so far got really cool answers.

• Relax my knees and ankles. They don't hurt as much as they used to. When I say my butt hurts, it's because every part of my legs hurt and it's so bad that even my butt is complaining. When the butt hurts, it's serious shit already. But I'd still like a Mathilde-esque massage though.

-- By the way, if you haven't seen it yet, go check out A Very Long Engagement. Be ready for violent war scenes though.

• Spent good quality time with the fam. We went to Makati tonight because my mom's classmates are throwing a despedida for the balikbayan classmates. We didn't have dinner with them, we went to Greenbelt and ate in Kitchen. I actually like hanging out with my Dad if neither of us feel like killing each other.

• Put together a birthday gift. But that's supposed to be a surprise. Hee.

And now I must sleep. Goodnight!