My Top 11 for 2011

This year ender Top 2011 list goes on my blog for this simple reason: It's very personal. It's about what was important to me, and not what was important to the rest of the dance community. Despite last year's resolution to see more dance this year, and I did see more dancing than I did in 2010, there wasn't a lot of dance to go around, and in general the dance that I saw - while not entirely bad - didn't move me.

So, you could say this is a cop-out, but my justification for this list comes from Mahatma Gandhi's most famous line: Be the change you want to see in the world. These events affected me personally, but in a way that what I need to do on a bigger scale is much, much clearer now.

1. The Company of Dance Artists
January 2011
This is the company my father launched this year. We didn't/don't perform aggressively, but I like that Dad had a lot of creative output nevertheless. And I like that we didn't pander to commercialism - the company doesn't do corporate gigs, though we were engaged for a good governance conference (all these military soldiers were our audience) and we still performed our repertoire according to the theme given us, and not some commissioned entertainment.

Also, for a bunch of people who have work outside the dance scene, that we were able to have any performances at all, and still build repertoire, is extraordinary to me. *pat on the back*

2. New York City Ballet in Hong Kong
March 2011
My birthday gift to my dad (and a gift for myself too) was to watch the New York City Ballet at the Hong Kong International Festival. It was a culminating activity that I never had since my days as a dance major in college, and it gave me so much. You can read the review I wrote in Runthru here.

3. Ang Sayaw ng Dalawang Kaliwang Paa
April - July, and December 2011
Early this year, my friend Alem Ang told me he was excited to apply for Cinemalaya with a film that incorporated feminist poetry and dance, and could I tell him if we offered packages on studio rentals so that they may shoot there? Later on, he and director Alvin Yapan asked if my dad could choreograph the dance sequences, and again later on, I was learning the movements to teach their actors. Later on, I was shooting the epic sequence at the end of the film, awake till 2 in the morning, and feeling very "So this is what showbiz is like."

Seeing the film in its entirety made me tear, because I was part of this wonderful movie that said so much about art and love and life. I don't think it made any significant insight into dance, per se, but that didn't matter to me (I know it mattered to some people).

Dad asked Alvin if he could mount the sequences as proper dances for stage performance, some of which we premiered in our annual recital on the 22nd of this month. Since I was cast in a lot of dances, I actually suggested that I could be taken out of "Litanya," then immediately taking it back because Litanya was soooo wonderful to perform. I'm hoping Alvin and Alem can get to watch these Mga Sayaw Mula sa Sayaw ng Daliwang Kaliwang Paa soon.

4. The National issue
May 2011 and beyond
I'm so over this issue, so read about it here and here. Why it is a Top 2011 event for me is not that it stirred people into fighting for equal opportunity, but it cemented my resolve that I need to be more aggressive about my stand for forming a platform for dance that will benefit more than one sector of people. I know I'm not going to achieve this right away, but I've been taking baby steps. Some of my plans are underway, and I'm really looking forward to 2012.

5. Encantada and The Nutcracker
August and November 2011
Putting these two productions together does not mean that they are similar in any way; the only thing they have in common is they were put on by resident ballet companies at the Cultural Center of the Philippines main stage. But they're in one item to me because I feel they are the best effort that I saw each company produce this year. (Of course, I did not see Ballet Philippines' Inamorata and Sleeping Beauty, nor Philippine Ballet Theatre's Romeo and Juliet, but I also could have easily not mentioned any production at all. No, I don't know what I'm arguing here, exactly.)

Encantada - While I was glad for the revival, and I applaud Judell de Guzman and company's hard work in recreating the Agnes Locsin piece d'resistance, I couldn't shake off the feeling that the older restagings were better. I realize though that it's easy to romanticize something, especially something you've been part of once upon a time, so much that new attempts to rework it will inevitably fall short. I MUST STOP DOING THAT. That said, I wish I had seen the perfectly cast Adea sisters, and would like to give the Best Performance of the Year award to Richardson Yadao for his brilliant portrayal of the lead fraile.

The Nutcracker - I have a weird relationship with Gelsey Kirkland's version for PBT. There are parts that I adore, and parts that I just find, what? Whenever we performed just the divertissement in outreach shows (back in my PBT days), I felt that we were the coolest company in the world. But when I see the entire thing, I'm always, Oh well. I guess I don't agree with some of the restaged bits, like the part of the dolls, and the mice and soldiers. This year, I wasn't too keen on there being a different Clara and Sugar Plum Fairy, as Clara's blossoming into Sugar Plum was integral to the story. But may I say, it leveled-up several notches from the 2007 staging and made me proud of how far PBT had come. This year's Nutcracker definitely deserves a Top 2011 spot.

6. Sayaw Salita, University of the Philippines
August 2011
This dance lectures series (because it seemed more a lecture series to me than a forum) deserved more attendance than it received, but it excites me because those who did attend seemed earnestly interested in the research and not just there because their professors required it. The series will continue in 2012, and there's so much potential here for the development of dance research, something that has been dying/dead in our country.

I also love that one of my mentors, Steve (Basilio Esteban Villaruz) has new insight into what needs attention in dance scholarship. His paper on the rice cycle in dance and its place in education is very informative and engaging. He had an entire hour and a half to discuss this in detail, which I am glad I was able to catch, because when he read the same paper in Malaysia the next month was only given 20 minutes, and missed discussion of a lot of important points. But then, lucky us, and hopefully there will be more chances for dissemination in the near future.

7. Asia Pacific International Dance Conference in Malaysia
September 2011

I attended this conference to inform myself of what people were looking at in dance research all over the world, with the goal of coming back to my own dance scholarship. Steve and Ruth Pison read papers here, as well as my friend Wayland Quintero, who is now based in Kuala Lumpur to pursue his own PhD. I wasn't able to send in a proposal in time to also have something to read for this conference, and subsequently also failed to send in any proposals for upcoming conferences next year. However, I'm slowly getting to what I really want to study, and that is more important to me than sending in a half-baked research topic just to be able to speak at a conference. Like I said earlier, baby steps.

8. Donna Miranda on Real Time Arts Magazine
September - October 2011
I did say it was a personal list, so while I'm happy that Donna was able to go to these laboratories in Berlin and Australia this year, I'm also happy that I was able to document the latter for an international audience. I'm very proud of this article and had a grand time interviewing Donna for it. I hope she liked it as much as I and my editor did.

Read the article here.

9. New work at UP
October 2011
There were two recitals at the UP dance program last October - Al Bernard Garcia's Sulog sa Kinabuhi and Chaya Joyce Baris and Sarah Maria Samaniego's Past Forward. The latter was also a good opportunity to pay tribute to the recitalists' teachers, Vella Damian and Lisa Macuja respectively, and was interesting to see how future generations of dance makers are working with the different genres they're studying as students and later, dance majors. I have yet to post up my review of their recital in Runthru, but will alert you soon as I do.

I was not able to skip work to see Al's Sulog sa Kinabuhi, but I'm very excited that he's trying to restage it in Quezon City in early 2012. Although a preview trailer is never an easy indication of what the whole work will look like, there is a lot here that will make you share the excitement too.

10. Investigating Cross Borders Collaborative Works in Bundanon Artists Center, Australia
November 2011
I don't know why the original writer couldn't make it, but I'm really glad that they asked me to replace him. And very, very glad that they were happy with the resulting blog. It was a very interesting two weeks and the it's some of the best work I've done so far in my life (some lang, of course hehe). You can check it out here.

11. Swan Lake
December 2011
When I was little, right before each annual dance recital, I would announce, "This is my last recital." What I meant was, I don't want to dance anymore, you can't make me, it's so stressful, I never want to do this again. This year, I've been hinting around that "This is my last recital," but for a more practical reason: I'm 37 and nothing in my body works as well as it used to. Of course, this year, I'm not as in shape as I was last year due to the fact that I spent two weeks in November observing a bunch of contemporary dance choreographers and couldn't properly get my groove back after because of work craziness.

I have to concede that what I restaged was quite awesome, according to the audience members who would say so tearfully to my mom outside the theater. I had an understandably unfortunate variation but a pretty good pas de deux and an amazing show, overall. Despite what I may think, it's never really my last recital and even when I'm in a wheelchair, I believe I will continue making dance. That is who I am, and what I want to be.

So, it wasn't a very exciting year for dance in 2011, but it was a very good year for me, and I'm looking forward to so many things in 2012.

I wrote a separate year ender for Runthru, which you can read here. Happy new year, everyone!

Digitizing my scholarship

These are files from my academic research. Or some of them, most of the most recent ones or the ones I feel are most important. They are so NOT ORGANIZED the way I want them to be. They are also collecting dust in that corner of my room and each time I have to look for a reference, I have to do a little spring cleaning first.

Since the new year is upon us and people are making resolutions and projects, my 2012 project is to digitize all my reference materials. I have my work cut out for me, as you will see below:





These are the books by my bed that I've been attempting to read. Haven't picked them up recently because I got a Kindle for Christmas.




I like being digital, but there are things I know I will keep physical copies of (the books beside my bed). The rest of my room, though? Digital, here we come.

Have a happy new year, everyone :)

Eve of the Show

By this time tomorrow night, I would be taking my bows. Kinda excited. More than kinda.

Recital season (or another post about being so busy)

I arrived from Australia over two weeks ago, and I was supposed to keep updating the Cross Borders Collaborative blog, but I actually still have the current entry I'm working on in the exact place I left it while editing the article on the 8-hour flight on the way here and have not added to it since. This is because 2 big things have been happening to me lately: 1. We (the telecom whose online portals I manage) are launching an "improved" main portal on December 13, and 2. We (my family's ballet school) are having our annual recital on the 22nd.

(There is also the matter of a quite disturbing conversation I had with somebody about the state of dance in my country, which really did bother me, so much that it would have thrown me into depression, or at the very least, ennui, had I the luxury of time. But I don't.)

This weekend was crunch time on several levels, and it was more action packed than the A-Team movie, but it was only after I read an annoying email regarding day job issues that I had to take stock of how much this weekend rocked. Rehearsals are going very well, and unlike the last two weekends which found me feeling like I was dying with every attempt to do anything more complicated than a port de bras, I got a lot of my strength back. I don't think I'm in tiptop shape yet, but I'm getting there.

Retiring from dancing, or at the very least from ballet, has crossed my mind this last few weeks, especially when I can't complete a decent renverse, or when my back gives up in mid-execution of any step, or when I wake up really sore and exhausted the next day. Add in that bothersome conversation I mentioned a few paragraphs ago, wherein I was made to feel that this style of dance that I was killing myself for was not worth anybody's time (will blog about that another time... Or remain a secret with me, let's see how I feel eventually). Ballet is really a demanding art form but I realize that there ARE rewards. Last Sunday, in flats, I managed to escape a pas de deux rehearsal with my brother because he deemed it more important to rehearse the part in the ballet where I reveal that I, the black swan, am not the queen of the swans the Prince fell in love with and have successfully thwarted their romance forever. As we went through this mime, I remembered why I danced/dance, and not even why I dance ballet, but why I dance at all.

Yesterday, we finally run the Black Swan pas de deux en pointe, which we haven't done since I arrived from Australia. It wasn't perfect but it felt awesome. Yesterday's and today's rehearsals were quite awesome, too. There's still a lot of work to be done, but awesome still.

As I write this, I'm propped up in bed to strategically stretch my sore lower back, and my legs are throbbing and threatening to fall off from my hips. Retiring is still a reality I will have to eventually face, but I'm hoping not so soon. In light of these last few weeks that have been unbelievably crazy and stressful, and in light of disturbing conversations that make you question your life's directions, I want to remember how happy I was this weekend, as it was the kind of happiness that obliterates bad energy and makes negative events not matter. In life, I've learned, there's just so much out there that makes you forget.