i hope this doesn't sound snarky...

Ever since I met Neil Gaiman, I was trying to imagine what it would be like to meet the other people in my life that greatly affected me and who I am, who I had become. I know that I would rather die than look like a dork in front of Angel Corella, so I don't think I'll ever muster up enough courage to even be in his presence, though I guess just watching him dance would be phenomenal; same with Alessandra Ferri and Martine van Hamel. I would probably hug John Irving and say, "I love all your bears and Sorrow too!!!" I would probably burst into tears while TALKING to Dr Seuss or Galina Ulanova or Charles Schulz or Gabriel Garcia Marquez or frigging Natalia Makarova, and not ten minutes after.

So I'm glad I don't ever get to meet them as it would just be too much for my peace of mind.

But being so close to your idols can be good for you too.

I remember when we met Anna Villadolid for the first time. She did Juliet when she was here with the Bavarian National Ballet and I was crying my eyes out from the Balcony Scene to the end of the ballet. When she danced in Don Quixote with Ballet Philippines, I wasn't very impressed but Lucas and I went backstage to get her autograph anyway. It was funny because we don't do that sort of thing, but Lucas was very, "We can meet Anna Villadolid!" So we went and knocked on her dressing room, amid the many fans. I stayed in the shadows and pushed Lucas to do all the work. Even though you could tell she was tired, there was this aura about her that was so radiant, that made you think, wow, I'm in the presence of a star! She smiled politely at Lucas, tall handsome tisoy boy that he is, and asked to whom she should address the autograph. "To Lucas," my brother replied. And she looked up at him in recognition and said, "You're Lucas?" She smiled a bigger smile and said, "I want to see you dance someday."

We walked away from that dressing room in silence. It was only ten minutes later when we looked at each other and flipped our lids like giggly schoolgirls.

My bigger local ballet hero (or heroine, then) would be Noreen Ostrea. Unlike the elusive Anna Villadolid, Noreen danced for PBT and was there when I started dancing for PBT many years ago. I saw her dance Juliet also and was so captivated - I wanted to grow up to be just like her. When I got to know her, there were many things about her that I wanted to be: she had been fat like me and was able to lose a lot of weight, which was inspiring to me then; she was also this feisty girl who had her own mind and was super cool to be around. Although she talks to me like she would an equal, I will always feel like a tiny fangirl, giddy that she so much as looked at me, giddier when she tells me I should hike my leg up some more or eat more potassium. It was this kind of motivation that helped me along at that time and I will forever be grateful for it.

Almost ten years later, I'm a demi-soloist with the PBT and in another Romeo and Juliet, which is actually my first Romeo and Juliet. I was one of Juliet's virginal friends. To boost the cast, the company hired several students from different ballet schools to act as townspeople and guests at the Capulet Ball, etc. Most of them were teenagers and three of them were giddy around me. One kid said to me, "My classmate wants to be you when she grows up." It was sometimes unnerving to be beamed at during ballet class, to look over at their shining, smiling faces that would fold up with a start when they discovered they were caught.

I was a demi-soloist who was playing one of Juliet's six friends. I didn't make a name for the country by being a prima ballerina in a few European countries, nor did I write a comic book of epic proportions where the characters in the book are so famous that even people who haven't read Sandman yet know who they are. But I have inspired a couple of teenagers, I have reduced them to giddiness. It's always a nice feeling.

My friend Waya has been talking about inspiration, especially since the Gaiman experience. She urges us to make our dreams come true, and to help each other make our dreams come true. I don't know what dream I have anymore - it used to be dancing Juliet. I thought long and hard about it and decided that while there are other things I want to do with my life, dancing Juliet remains The Dream.

I'm busy now with a million things because this is how my life is - to be in constant motion, to keep working at making myself happy. To me, I guess it's not really fulfilling a dream, it's more making my life the dream that I'm fulfilling. What happens when I've danced Juliet? I go look for the next dream? That's it exactly.

I don't know what dream I want to fulfill, perhaps because I've been trying to live out my dreams ever since I knew how to. I'm glad Neil Gaiman came here and inspired a lot of people - it would take something so drastic I suppose. The most I got out of this experience is the nice realization that he's a normal guy - a nicer guy than the normal, but he's not a superhero or a god. He could be you or me or somebody we happen to cross paths with on the street. But he is capable of great things.

I am just reminded that I am capable of great things too. And go back to the great dream that is my life.