Friday, July 30, 2004

Angel, my beloved

"The Spanish character has a lot to do with how I dance, very passionate and very extreme."
- Angel Corella

I used to not acknowledge Angel Corella's existence.  I get turned off when something is popular and in the dance world, you could say he was quite popular.  When I finally paid attention I find out why - this man is not human.  He can do tricks that you don't think can be done; in a previous generation, the equivalent would be Mikhail Baryshnikov.  Those turns and jumps - all to the left!  It's always fantastic to see anyone who can turn and jump well with their left side and Angel doesn't just turn and jump well, that's like MAJOR understatement right there.  I kick myself that I had been ignoring him ALL THIS TIME.  I super enjoy him now, which is what counts.

I've been enjoying him do the Romeo and Juliet balcony scene pas de deux.  Even before I was watching The Leaves Are Fading alternately over and over, I would watch him dance R&J, with Alessandra Ferri and Viviana Durante.  He does it differently with each girl, even if it's the same steps.  There's so much to say about each performance, I'm reserving my observations for my thesis.

Speaking of thesis, while doing research, I find a review of his R&J with Alessandra that turns him into the absolute perfect man:

"It should no longer be surprising what a confident, capable partner Corella is. He is so much the firebrand virtuoso, happily whipping off the multiple pirouettes, that it would seem that partnering would not also be among his strengths. But he carries off his partnering duties extremely well, giving his ballerinas freedom to let go, assured that he will be there for them."

Drool!!!  Very passionate, very extreme Spanish men are my favorite.  Sigh.

***review snippet of Romeo and Juliet taken from http://www.danceviewtimes.com/Volume 2, No. 25 - July 5, 2004
Copyright ©2004 by Susan Reiter

ganda naman ng gypsy dyan sa tabi...

I'm having fun with Photoshop.  I never thought of this kind of life for when I grow up, but now that I am all grown up, I'm really basically a kid.  I dance for a living and in my spare time, I update and decorate my blog.  And I love Thursdays because it super rocks that Spike is free of the First in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and I'm hungry wanting to know what happens next in Angel.  I really feel bad I missed the episodes I missed because I surfed for some transcripts and wish I had seen the episode Lorne tried this spell to get Cordy's memory back and instead stunted everyone's memory to when they were seventeen.  I kept laughing each time Fred would look for weed.  And I love that Wesley spells his name with three Ys: Wesley Wyndham-Pryce.  Pogi points that he doesn't need, but pogi points all the same.

And I love my blog.  Which makes me grateful that I now have a better relationship with the reason why I killed my last blog.  I find it remarkable how mature she is.  Or maybe she's just keeping her enemies closer.

I would be great if only I was more mature myself.  Otherwise, everything's wonderful.  Superb. 

Can anyone answer this though: was Charisma Carpenter really pregnant to begin with and they were only hiding her pregnancy until Evil Cordelia could use it to manipulate Connor?  Or do I surf for that info myself?

Yea.  Life is just peachy.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

My favorite TV show

I'm addicted to Couples Fear Factor.  I'm not a fan of Fear Factor at all, but I started watching Couples Fear Factor the same reason I watch Race to the Altar and the first season of Temptation Island: to see the couples fight on TV.  It's mean, I know, but I thought it was really funny how they disappoint each other in public.  After a while, I do feel bad for them, especially if they look like they would have been okay as a couple if only they kept away from Reality TV.

Now, if I started to watch for the fighting, what keeps me there is finding particular couples I like the relationships of and I root for them.  I'm serious.  If I didn't have such a busy and fulfilling career, I'd start feeling sorry for my single ass, but I do find joy in the relationships of other people.  I liked three couples from CFF: Jim and Melissa (which I feel was a default thing because Jim is this big, bemuscled, white - well, okay, pinkish tan - demi-god and Melissa is this hispanic-looking, perky girl, and gee, who would that remind me of?), Adam and Meg, and my favorite couple James and Meghan.  Jim and Melissa were a power couple who never fought and weren't bummed with each other when they didn't win an event, though it was nice to watch them celebrate when they did win.  I also like them because when they got eliminated, Melissa said she felt more secure about her relationship with Jim because Fear Factor proved that they worked very well together and they could face anything.  Lucas likes them because he thinks the boy is "Pogi." 

Adam and Meg are the couple that fight the most and yet they win almost every event.  They were the power couple you love to hate, and wondered why they were a couple at all, until a girl from another couple said she hated Adam, and Meg frowned at her and said, "Hate's a strong word..."  I liked that even if she was arguing with him all the time (she was flipping him the finger after one event - that they won), she would defend him right away. 
I realize I don't even like it when the couples fight.  It becomes too real, and I feel really bad for them.  Like there was this one couple where the girl was actually much stronger than the guy and he would like let go or give up or drop her too early or something and she would be like "I don't know what to say," when he asks her if she's disappointed in him.  I'm wondering if they're still together right now.

My favorite Fear Factor couple is James and Meghan.  They won only one event and it was just too funny how James was the weak link of the two when Meghan is like the personification of Bubbles the Power Puff Girl.  Like, they were trying to finish this milkshake made of maggots and chicken tongues (EEEEW!!!!!) and they lost because at the bottom of the glass he threw up (though Meghan did admit she was only pretending to drink her share, hahahaha).  And he had to retrieve ten chicken feet with his mouth from a box where Meghan was comfortably lying with around 400 rats and in a separate interview, he talks about how he hated when Meghan used to have rats for pets and Meghan is beside him, giggling.  A lot of the stunts, they were lagging behind because he was swimming too slowly or he would throw up right away.  And he does throw up a lot.  I only saw them fight once, and it wasn't even a real fight.  Anticipating a stunt, James says "I think I'm going to throw up."  And Meghan snaps at him to shut up.  But that was it.

Even if he does seem like the kulelat one, I can see why she's with him.  He says the funniest things, without trying to be funny.  I mean, he's kidding, but his face is very deadpan that if you weren't paying attention, you would miss it.  He had a real special one while Adam and the girl who hated him were fighting; Adam retaliated to her "I hate Adam because he's so fake" with a potshot at her fake boobs.  While Adam and Meg were doing the stunt, the girl was ranting about how Adam said if he won the money for that stunt, which was 25 thousand dollars, he would buy Meg fake boobs.  Camera focuses on James, who's busy watching the stunt but says, "If I won 25 thousand dollars, I'd get fake boobs."  I couldn't stop laughing.

Meghan is pretty witty, as well.  While waiting their turn for a stunt, Joe Rogan is talking to the couples and asking James if he's bummed that he hasn't won anything yet.  Meghan butts in and tells James, "Hey, you were a winner when you met me."  And everybody is like "Aaaaaw..."

I watch this show every Sunday, even if I know who's going to win the million.  Meghan and James, by the way, make it to the final but lose to Jackson and Monica, the girl with the fake boobs who hates Adam.  Still, I was so proud, and happy that whatever episode they show, I know that my favorite couple will be on it. 

Unlike Race To The Altar, which I will stop watching (not that I watch regularly) because they eliminated my favorite couple on that show, Chris and Cindy.  But it ended really nicely for me.  They started out to be a couple that was fighting all the time also, but I realized it was only because she was worried about what her parents will think when they're watching them on TV - mostly because they had to share a room and Cindy's parents were rather conservative. 

Their biggest fight was when the girls were taken to see the Chippendales and Cindy refused to go in and she freaked out about whether Chris would do the same thing in her position.  When she asked him, he told her she was overreacting and she got so angry at that.  In that same episode, they were eliminated and they were shot in their room talking about, not their elimination, but about their fight.  He tells her she knows he doesn't care about going to strip clubs and she says she does know and she's sorry and he tells her how much she means to him, etc.  And he says he can't wait to marry her and she says, well, why don't they, since they were already in Vegas anyway.  And they did.  The show even took footage of the wedding.  I don't think Race to the Altar is the coolest TV show in history, but this is the coolest way to end an episode where they eliminate your favorite couple.

I swear, if I didn't have such a busy and fulfilling career, I'd start feeling sorry for my single ass.

Monday, July 26, 2004

the leaves are fading

That's a ballet by Antony Tudor to utterly beautiful music by Antonin Dvorak.  I haven't seen the entire thing yet, but I have videos of two versions of the pas de deux - one danced by the Kirov Ballet's Altynai Asylmuratova and Konstantin Zaklinsky, the other by American Ballet Theatre's Amanda McKerrow and John Gardner.  The week of the break, I had been watching each version one after the other.  Some time ago, I had first seen the Altynai-Zaklinsky version and was "Oh that's nice," but not terribly impressed when I saw it.  Some time later, I saw the McKerrow-Gardner version and was really blown away.  Only later later on did I realize it was the same pas de deux.  I've been wanting to watch them one after the other since that realization and only got the chance to last week.

In fairness to Altynai and Zaklinsky, I'm pretty sure they wanted it to be a great performance, but there were a lot of things working against them.  First of all, I assume they merely learned the dance from a restager while McKerrow had actually rehearsed The Leaves Are Fading with Tudor himself.  You could tell that Altynai knew the dance more than Zaklinsky did and he was taking his cues from her.  I think they only learned the dance because they were in London and performing for Princess Diana and needed to do a British ballet in that night's repertoire.  So it looked impromptu and lacked rehearsal.  That's not to say though that it was a terrible mess.  It was actually well done, and even beautiful if you have nothing to compare it with.

The McKerrow and Gardner was, in a word, wow.  In comparison, these two had everything working for them.  Knowing the ballet right from the heart of it was essential, but everything else super clicked, too.  They had previously been doing the pas de deux regularly and so rehearsal was adequate.  And, guess what, McKerrow and Gardner are married to each other.  The most distinctive thing between the two versions though was the quality.  McKerrow and Gardner knew exactly what the dance was all about and they danced with that almost ethereal nuance all throughout the pas de deux.  McKerrow looked particularly buoyed - for lack of a better word, buoyed with hope perhaps?  Contentment?  It was so peaceful and every movement done by both of them was fluid and breathtaking. 

The Russians seemed to be dancing a wholly different ballet.  There was none of that uplifted, ethereal quality as she went through the steps.  I guess that was my biggest problem with their version. While Altynai was lyrically beautiful, you could see that she was a technically proficient dancer, instead of seeing the dance.  And Zaklinsky was merely waiting to catch her.

During the week of the break, I had also watched the video of our last recital, where I did a sketchy Black Swan pas de deux.  Sketchy because there were good moments, there were great moments, and there were, oh-geez,-I -could-have-done -better-than-that moments.  The first time I saw that pas de deux and felt disappointed with myself, I was rather surprised because I was in shape when I did that and I thought I would have done better.  Well, I thought I was in shape. 

Now, seven months later, I know I would do better because I was actually mistaken about being in shape then.  This is when I'm at my peak of in-shapeness, right now I mean.  I noticed that after taking relentless classes every day since January (which is the month after that Black Swan), I definitely have higher leg extensions, more secure turns, a better quality of moving.  And I'm thinner.  It boggles the mind how thin I am compared to how I was last December, especially when I thought I was thin then already.

A nice story: this week, we would end ballet class with fouettes (for girls) and tours a la secondes (for boys), do as many as you like to the music.  Thursday, the piano music was the coda of the Don Quixote pas de deux and I was trying to hit 32 but I would falter at the last 8.  I keep trying and I'm perplexed why I'm unable to finish 32 turns.  I sit down and start thinking, oh well, maybe I'm really not that strong.  And suddenly, the next music plays and it's the coda of the Black Swan (slightly faster than the Don Q coda) and I get up and do 32 fouettes like it was a piece of cake.  This only proves my point about how much more in shape I am.  Last December, I was only able to do 16.  Maybe I'm not strong enough yet for Don Q but I'm getting somewhere.

My brother watched that video with me (since he was dancing in it as well) and there were moments where he would say, "Wow, that was great!"  That scene was in my head when I was watching the Kirov The Leaves Are Fading.  There were a lot of "Wow, that was great!" moments, but they were just moments.  The next time I dance a pas de deux, I want it to be seamless and I want to dance it beautifully in its entirety, not just in particular moments.  And I would demand more rehearsal.

Since I'm not dancing a pas de deux anytime soon, I was thinking that this should go into my thesis, but I can't use The Leaves Are Fading as my main pas de deux because I'm supposed to place it in a Philippine context.  And it would be pointless to.  I guess I can use it as an example to explain modern pas de deux but it can't be the foundation of my thesis.  The bad part is, because of this, I start thinking, why am I writing about the pas de deux at all.  Merf.  Blogging about all this is waaaay easier than writing my thesis; I don't even have to have a point at all.  Long live blogging! 

Sunday, July 25, 2004

man of my dreams

I visited my old office last week and my ex-boss told me she was investing in a little farm in the province and got some news about a former public servant and how it was a shame that he didn't run anymore the last elections as he really did some good.  I am really glad that people appreciated his work because that would mean the time he spent away from me would not be in vain.

Of course, he is still far away from me and it still remains to be seen if we will ever come together again.  And then, there are a lot of considerations.  My mother is worried that I will be too despaired by ballet, that I will never be happy with my place in it, that she's more hopeful about how this aspect of my life will turn out.  I'm just waiting to find out what happens next.

While waiting, I had this dream.  It's haunted me all day yesterday, replaying in my head, in certain movements of my body, like some dreams do.  It is of an old love; specifically, a love I felt right before my wishy washy public servant.  He had asked me to go somewhere with him - where, I couldn't tell, but we rode a wheelchair (most commonplace in that dream) to the airport and got plane tickets to go away.  I still feel everytime he placed his arm around me, squeezed my shoulder, kissed my temple.  I still feel that giddiness from seeing him smile at me.  The dream ends as we get to the boarding lounge, which looks like the backstage of the Folk Arts Theatre, and the thought in my head was how happy he made me.

Of all the men I have ever loved, my love for this guy doesn't make any sense at all.  I spoke to him only around five or six times all in all and yet I always managed to blow those conversations right out of proportion in my head.  It's been a long time since I've actually seen him or spoken to him, and if my friend hadn't texted me about how I was going to die if I watched King Arthur and realized who Lancelot looked like, I wouldn't have thought about him in a long time, either.  I had even written him a message, about how knowing him made me glad and I even marvelled at how different our lives were now.  He didn't reply and I didn't expect him to.  And then I have this dream.

I used to have dreams about this guy all the time, all similar ones where we're super happy not doing much, just being cozy together and content.  They were always this lucid, too, like real life.  In real life, I'm that easy.  I don't need much to be loved, I don't ask for much.  The men in my life just don't know it.  Or if they do, they take it, they take me, for granted.  Story of my life.

I have long ago accepted that I'm never to have anything to do with this man in real life.  And I know I'll be happier with the one I'm right now waiting for.  But while I'm waiting, I don't mind the dreams.  I'm just not really looking forward to seeing King Arthur, though.