As I may or may not have mentioned before (I am too tamad to check), we're (my dad's school is) doing The Sleeping Beauty for our annual recital in December. Last minute changes, though: Daddy decided we give the title role of Princess Aurora to Sol, currently my Daddy's oldest student, as she deserves to be the lead for a change, after all this time. Sol danced with us since she was a baby, was awarded a lifetime full scholarship when she was a teenager and pretty much became the fifth Jacinto kid, outlasting all the generations of students who had been through our doors. When Daddy choreographed Magdaragat for PBT in 1997, Sol was brought in to lead the corps de ballet and to help restage their steps (Daddy's choreography is so complex that he has a hard time remembering what he wants exactly).
Of course, since we Jacinto kids are always the most senior of the students, compounded by the fact that we're the children of the owners, whenever we restage a full length ballet for our recital, we're always cast in the lead. LIke, I've been the Sugarplum Fairy (The Nutcracker), Giselle (from the ballet of the same name), Odette the first two Swan Lakes and Odile for the third, the Lilac Fairy (The Sleeping Beauty). Jacqui has been Clara (when she was young and tiny enough) and Spanish Chocolate (The Nutcracker), Myrtha (Giselle), Odette and Odile, Princess Aurora. Sol on the other hand has never had a real lead role except for Odile in the second Swan Lake; she mostly gets the soloist roles such as Arabian Coffee (The Nutcracker), Peasant Pas de Deux girl (Giselle), Pas de Trois girl and Princess in the first and third Swan Lakes, Fairy of Passion and Bluebird (The Sleeping Beauty).
Sol actually doesn't want to be Aurora; I know she has always blanched at the prospect of dancing the lead because she doesn't think she's good enough. She's not like me, who's so "Of course, I can do that!" She has to be convinced that she can do it; like she was so reluctant to do the Black Swan pas de deux that she even wanted to switch on the night of the recital. Last Sunday, while I was teaching her the Aurora dances, I could tell she still had reservations. Jacqui and I are easing her into it, though.
So what are we dancing? Jacqui will take Sol's roles as Fairy of Passion and Bluebird. I will do Lilac Fairy again. For this production originally, Jacqui and I had switched our former dances, I would be Aurora and she would be Lilac Fairy. My dad is more interested in seeing Jacqui as the Bluebird so I'm doing Lilac again. I don't mind. The Lilac Fairy's variation in the Prologue will always be one of my favorite solos in the world, partly because everytime I perform it, it comes out perfect.
Jacqui and I had a tiny tiff over this variation. Well, not this variation exactly, but I had mentioned that I was having a hard time restaging Jacqui's dances as the Lilac Fairy because she was uncooperative and she got mad at me for saying that because she never showed me she was uncooperative. When I said she had at the very least been negative about it, she said it wasn't a picnic for me to nitpick over the Prologue variation and that my saying "Why can't you do that?" was annoying showing-off. I wasn't aware that I was showing off, I was sincerely confused why she was having a hard time getting her pirouettes in.
Since we're on the subject, it grated that when I objected, my mom overruled it with, "You are a show off. Even that foreign choreographer said so (before we disappeared from MB; the substory is I was doing double arabesque turns while the others wanted to do a single and he said, "Oh, don't worry about it if you want to do singles. Joelle's just showing off."). You show off because that's you." I'm still trying to decide if I should aspire for more humility or embrace my show-offiness. I mean, okay, I'll come off as vain and self-posessed, but honestly, what harm can that do?
Back to the Lilac Fairy. She has always been one of my favorite characters in ballet because she's the only benign being who's really in charge. Sure, Myrtha and Odile are powerful and command attention but they're driven by hate and malice. The Sugar Plum Fairy is benign, but her main function is to welcome the Nutcracker and Clara into the Kingdom of the Sweets and all she really does is dance the big number. All the other main characters are victims - Aurora, Giselle, Odette, Juliet. The Lilac Fairy can alter a fatal spell, she can make the bad fairy leave, she can put an entire kingdom to sleep so that its princess can wake up to friends. I even read an essay in college about the Sugar Plum Fairy being the only true feminist and the only true empowered woman in the classical ballet universe.
I would have wanted to dance Aurora for a change, but when we rehearsed the new line-up last Sunday, doing the Prologue variation felt like it was choreographed a century ago specifically for me to dance. Especially when, as I unfolded my left leg to the side and balance it en pointe in the first part of the solo, I heard my students whisper to each other, "Tingnan mo, o, nag-stay!" It's tuwa of another kind.
Pardon the showing off.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
light like butterscotch
A few weeks ago, I had been able to tell that I wasn't in love, that I hadn't been in love in a long time. This realization brought in many different things into my life - I had stopped waiting, I had reestablished priorities, I had set a new course for myself that I feel good about. No more looking back at the past, but no grand designs of the future. Not yet anyway. I am happy.
Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I heard
Was a song outside my window, and the traffic wrote the words
It came a-reeling up like christmas bells, and rapping up like pipes and drums
Oh, won’t you stay
We’ll put on the day
And we’ll wear it ’till the night comes
I walked in at 4:30 this morning and bump into my dad getting ready to go jogging. We have a Talk. Not quite the birds and the bees; much too late for the birds and the bees, but along those lines. It is too strange for a parent to want a discussion about your lovelife. It is stranger when said parent is benchpressing, um, I'm not sure how much but suffice to say, he used a lot of weights. It lasted all throughout his warm-up, he let me sleep while he jogged, then he woke me up again when he got back. I sat through this entire thing uncharacteristically without drama, just clarifying things that needed to be clarified. I nodded mostly. When he saw how sleepy I was, he let me back into bed.
Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I saw
Was the sun through yellow curtains, and a rainbow on the wall
Blue, red, green and gold to welcome you, crimson crystal beads to beckon
Oh, won’t you stay
We’ll put on the day
There’s a sun show every second
Normally, I would be very livid or drained or depressed or suicidal after such a talk with my father. Instead, I'm singing this song.
Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges, too
And the sun poured in like butterscotch and stuck to all my senses
Oh, won’t you stay
We’ll put on the day
And we’ll talk in present tenses
Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I heard
Was a song outside my window, and the traffic wrote the words
It came a-reeling up like christmas bells, and rapping up like pipes and drums
Oh, won’t you stay
We’ll put on the day
And we’ll wear it ’till the night comes
I walked in at 4:30 this morning and bump into my dad getting ready to go jogging. We have a Talk. Not quite the birds and the bees; much too late for the birds and the bees, but along those lines. It is too strange for a parent to want a discussion about your lovelife. It is stranger when said parent is benchpressing, um, I'm not sure how much but suffice to say, he used a lot of weights. It lasted all throughout his warm-up, he let me sleep while he jogged, then he woke me up again when he got back. I sat through this entire thing uncharacteristically without drama, just clarifying things that needed to be clarified. I nodded mostly. When he saw how sleepy I was, he let me back into bed.
Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I saw
Was the sun through yellow curtains, and a rainbow on the wall
Blue, red, green and gold to welcome you, crimson crystal beads to beckon
Oh, won’t you stay
We’ll put on the day
There’s a sun show every second
Normally, I would be very livid or drained or depressed or suicidal after such a talk with my father. Instead, I'm singing this song.
Woke up, it was a chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges, too
And the sun poured in like butterscotch and stuck to all my senses
Oh, won’t you stay
We’ll put on the day
And we’ll talk in present tenses
Friday, October 15, 2004
things I've done and not done
A meme I'd rather post here. Directions are bold the items that you've done. And I've done a lot, come to think of it.
01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink.
02. Swum with wild dolphins.
03. Climbed a mountain.
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive.
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid.
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone.
08. Said "I love you" and meant it. Hmmm, I like that this is my first thing I've done on this list so far.
09. Hugged a tree.
10. Done a striptease.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise.
15. Seen the Northern Lights.
16. Gone to a huge sports game. Shell vs Tanduay!
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa.
18. Grown and eaten my own vegetables.
19. Touched an iceberg.
20. Slept under the stars.
21. Changed a baby's diaper.
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon.
23. Watched a meteor shower.
24. Gotten drunk on champagne.
25. Given more than I can afford to charity.
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope. Through the hugest telescope in Asia (tama ba?)
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment. During my job interview with the Big Boss of Pinoycentral. He hired me and then would tell people how I laughed at him all throughout the interview.
28. Had a food fight.
29. Bet on a winning horse.
30. Taken a sick day when I wasn't ill. Had a show, hehe.
31. Asked out a stranger.
32. Had a snowball fight.
33. Photocopied my bottom on the office photocopier.
34. Screamed as loudly as I possibly could.
35. Held a lamb.
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy.
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip.
38. Taken an ice cold bath. Never again.
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar.
40. Seen a total eclipse.
41. Ridden a roller coaster.
42. Hit a home run.
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days. BV transitions at PC and my last week in Sony.
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking.
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day. I yus Irish. Shite!
46. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors.
47. Actually felt happy about my life, even for just a moment. I'm happy now.
48. Had two hard drives for my computer.
49. Visited all fifty states.
50. Loved your job for all accounts. But it comes and goes. Hehe, it feels like I'm cheating, for all accounts nga eh.
51. Taken care of someone who was shit-faced. Does shit-faced mean totally absolutely drunk or that they have shit on their face? I took care of Lucas this one night he downed Jack Daniels shots like water.
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
53. Had amazing friends. Have, present tense.
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country.
55. Watched wild whales.
56. Stolen a sign. But it was one of those Reserved Seat signs in the auditorium of the College of Music. I taped it to my chest, made people laugh.
57. Backpacked in Europe.
58. Taken a road-trip.
59. Gone rock climbing.
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice.
61. Taken a midnight walk on the beach. Bora with Kitch.
62. Gone sky diving.
63. Visited Ireland.
64. Been heartbroken longer than I was actually in love. Yes and it sucks.
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them.
66. Visited Japan.
67. Benchpressed my own weight.
68. Milked a cow.
69. Alphabetized my records.
70. Pretended to be a superhero. When I was a kid, yes. Though I still sometimes think I'm the Black Widow.
71. Sung karaoke.
72. Lounged around in bed all day.
73. Posed nude in front (for) of strangers.
74. Gone scuba diving.
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye.
76. Kissed in the rain.
77. Played in the mud.
78. Played in the rain.
79. Gone to a drive-in theater.
80. Done something I should regret, but don't regret it. People keep telling me I'll regret quitting my good high paying job. I'm still waiting for it to happen.
81. Visited the Great Wall of China.
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about my blog has discovered my blog.
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better.
84. Started a business.
85. Fallen in love and not had my heart broken.
86. Toured ancient sites.
87. Taken a martial arts class.
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman.
89. Played D&D for more than six hours straight.
90. Gotten married.
91. Been in a movie. It was a short film for a friend's class project, I rolled some weed. If music videos count as movies, I've been in two.
92. Crashed a party.
93. Loved someone I shouldn't have.
94. Kissed someone so passionately, it made them dizzy. Haha, or at least I like to think so.
95. Gotten divorced.
96. Had sex at the office.
97. Gone without food for five days.
98. Made cookies from scratch.
99. Won first prize in a costume contest.
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice.
101. Got a tattoo.
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn me on.
103. Rafted the Snake River.
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert." Actually, it was a Radio talk show. But I was considered an "expert" even though I wasn't haha.
105. Got flowers for no reason. From the ex who turned out to be psycopathic. Don't trust those sweet flower-givers anymore.
106. Masturbated in a public place.
107. Got so drunk I don't remember anything.
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug.
109. Performed on stage. More than a thousand times, I think.
110. Been to Las Vegas.
111. Recorded music.
112. Eaten shark. Sharksfin siomai count?
113. Had a one-night stand.
114. Gone to Thailand.
115. Seen Siouxsie live.
116. Bought a house.
117. Been in a combat zone.
118. Buried one/both of my parents.
119. Shaved or waxed off my pubic hair.
120. Been on a cruise ship.
121. Spoken more than one language fluently. - I can't even speak Tagalog fluently.
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone.
123. Bounced a check.
124. Performed in Rocky Horror. But just as an audience member doing the Time Warp.
125. Read - and understood - my credit report.
126. Raised children.
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy.
128. Followed my favorite band/singer on tour. Does it count if you were a girlfriend at the time? If not, it's still happened, with a couple other bands. It was part of my former job after all.
129. Created and named my own constellation of stars.
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country.
131. Found out something significant that my ancestors did. I'm entranced by the entire Babaylan thing.
132. Called or written my Congress person.
133. Picked up and moved to another city just to start over.
134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge.
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when I knew someone was looking.
137. Had an abortion, or my female partner did.
138. Had plastic surgery.
139. Survived an accident that I shouldn't have survived.
140. Written articles for a large publication. Though Mayo might not count Malaya as large, haha.
141. Lost over one hundred pounds.
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback.
142a. Had a flashback.
143. Piloted an airplane.
144. Petted a stingray.
145. Broken someone's heart.
146. Helped an animal give birth.
147. Been fired or laid off from a job.
148. Won money on a T.V. game show.
149. Broken a bone.
150. Killed a human being.
151. Gone on an African photo safari.
152. Ridden a motorcycle. Once and never again. Not even if Nino is grinning at me with a come-hither look from under his helmet.
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than one hundred miles-per-hour.
154. Had a body part of mine below the neck pierced.
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol.
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild.
157. Ridden a horse.
158. Had major surgery. - Does getting a large gash on your head stitched up major surgery? No, diba?
159. Had sex on a moving train.
160. Had a snake as a pet.
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing. - I like plane rides too much.
163. Slept for more than thirty hours over the course of forty-eight hours.
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states.
165. Visited all seven continents.
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than two days.
167. Eaten kangaroo meat.
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground.
169. Been a sperm or egg donor.
170. Eaten sushi.
171. Had my picture in the newspaper.
172. Had two (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in my lifetime.
173. Changed someone's mind about something about which I care deeply.
174. Got someone fired for their actions.
175. Gone back to school. For my MA.
176. Parasailed.
177. Changed my name. When I was a kid, I made people call me Angelica. When I worked with PC, I was known as Marci. Who likes Drummers. Hahahahahahaha... sorry, private joke.
178. Petted a cockroach.
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes.
180. Read The Iliad.
181. Selected one "important" author who I missed in school, and read.
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because my apartment needed them.
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because I did it so many times, they figured out it was I.
184. Taught myself an art from scratch.
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt.
187. Skipped all my school reunions.
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language.
189. Been elected to public office.
190. Written my own computer language.
191. Thought to myself that I'm living my dream. In ballet class, everyday.
192. Had to put someone I love into hospice care.
193. Built my own PC from parts.
194. Sold my own artwork to someone who didn't know me.
195. Had a booth at a street fair. Does the Quill booksale and tarot booth in AS walk count?
196. Dyed my hair.
197. Been a DJ. On internet radio.
198. Found out someone was going to dump me via LiveJournal.
199. Written your own role playing game.
200. Been arrested.
85. Fallen in love and not had my heart broken. - I want to do this one day. I'm optimistic.
01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink.
02. Swum with wild dolphins.
03. Climbed a mountain.
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive.
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid.
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone.
08. Said "I love you" and meant it. Hmmm, I like that this is my first thing I've done on this list so far.
09. Hugged a tree.
10. Done a striptease.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise.
15. Seen the Northern Lights.
16. Gone to a huge sports game. Shell vs Tanduay!
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa.
18. Grown and eaten my own vegetables.
19. Touched an iceberg.
20. Slept under the stars.
21. Changed a baby's diaper.
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon.
23. Watched a meteor shower.
24. Gotten drunk on champagne.
25. Given more than I can afford to charity.
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope. Through the hugest telescope in Asia (tama ba?)
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment. During my job interview with the Big Boss of Pinoycentral. He hired me and then would tell people how I laughed at him all throughout the interview.
28. Had a food fight.
29. Bet on a winning horse.
30. Taken a sick day when I wasn't ill. Had a show, hehe.
31. Asked out a stranger.
32. Had a snowball fight.
33. Photocopied my bottom on the office photocopier.
34. Screamed as loudly as I possibly could.
35. Held a lamb.
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy.
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip.
38. Taken an ice cold bath. Never again.
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar.
40. Seen a total eclipse.
41. Ridden a roller coaster.
42. Hit a home run.
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days. BV transitions at PC and my last week in Sony.
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking.
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day. I yus Irish. Shite!
46. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors.
47. Actually felt happy about my life, even for just a moment. I'm happy now.
48. Had two hard drives for my computer.
49. Visited all fifty states.
50. Loved your job for all accounts. But it comes and goes. Hehe, it feels like I'm cheating, for all accounts nga eh.
51. Taken care of someone who was shit-faced. Does shit-faced mean totally absolutely drunk or that they have shit on their face? I took care of Lucas this one night he downed Jack Daniels shots like water.
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
53. Had amazing friends. Have, present tense.
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country.
55. Watched wild whales.
56. Stolen a sign. But it was one of those Reserved Seat signs in the auditorium of the College of Music. I taped it to my chest, made people laugh.
57. Backpacked in Europe.
58. Taken a road-trip.
59. Gone rock climbing.
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice.
61. Taken a midnight walk on the beach. Bora with Kitch.
62. Gone sky diving.
63. Visited Ireland.
64. Been heartbroken longer than I was actually in love. Yes and it sucks.
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them.
66. Visited Japan.
67. Benchpressed my own weight.
68. Milked a cow.
69. Alphabetized my records.
70. Pretended to be a superhero. When I was a kid, yes. Though I still sometimes think I'm the Black Widow.
71. Sung karaoke.
72. Lounged around in bed all day.
73. Posed nude in front (for) of strangers.
74. Gone scuba diving.
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye.
76. Kissed in the rain.
77. Played in the mud.
78. Played in the rain.
79. Gone to a drive-in theater.
80. Done something I should regret, but don't regret it. People keep telling me I'll regret quitting my good high paying job. I'm still waiting for it to happen.
81. Visited the Great Wall of China.
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about my blog has discovered my blog.
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better.
84. Started a business.
85. Fallen in love and not had my heart broken.
86. Toured ancient sites.
87. Taken a martial arts class.
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman.
89. Played D&D for more than six hours straight.
90. Gotten married.
91. Been in a movie. It was a short film for a friend's class project, I rolled some weed. If music videos count as movies, I've been in two.
92. Crashed a party.
93. Loved someone I shouldn't have.
94. Kissed someone so passionately, it made them dizzy. Haha, or at least I like to think so.
95. Gotten divorced.
96. Had sex at the office.
97. Gone without food for five days.
98. Made cookies from scratch.
99. Won first prize in a costume contest.
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice.
101. Got a tattoo.
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn me on.
103. Rafted the Snake River.
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert." Actually, it was a Radio talk show. But I was considered an "expert" even though I wasn't haha.
105. Got flowers for no reason. From the ex who turned out to be psycopathic. Don't trust those sweet flower-givers anymore.
106. Masturbated in a public place.
107. Got so drunk I don't remember anything.
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug.
109. Performed on stage. More than a thousand times, I think.
110. Been to Las Vegas.
111. Recorded music.
112. Eaten shark. Sharksfin siomai count?
113. Had a one-night stand.
114. Gone to Thailand.
115. Seen Siouxsie live.
116. Bought a house.
117. Been in a combat zone.
118. Buried one/both of my parents.
119. Shaved or waxed off my pubic hair.
120. Been on a cruise ship.
121. Spoken more than one language fluently. - I can't even speak Tagalog fluently.
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone.
123. Bounced a check.
124. Performed in Rocky Horror. But just as an audience member doing the Time Warp.
125. Read - and understood - my credit report.
126. Raised children.
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy.
128. Followed my favorite band/singer on tour. Does it count if you were a girlfriend at the time? If not, it's still happened, with a couple other bands. It was part of my former job after all.
129. Created and named my own constellation of stars.
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country.
131. Found out something significant that my ancestors did. I'm entranced by the entire Babaylan thing.
132. Called or written my Congress person.
133. Picked up and moved to another city just to start over.
134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge.
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when I knew someone was looking.
137. Had an abortion, or my female partner did.
138. Had plastic surgery.
139. Survived an accident that I shouldn't have survived.
140. Written articles for a large publication. Though Mayo might not count Malaya as large, haha.
141. Lost over one hundred pounds.
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback.
142a. Had a flashback.
143. Piloted an airplane.
144. Petted a stingray.
145. Broken someone's heart.
146. Helped an animal give birth.
147. Been fired or laid off from a job.
148. Won money on a T.V. game show.
149. Broken a bone.
150. Killed a human being.
151. Gone on an African photo safari.
152. Ridden a motorcycle. Once and never again. Not even if Nino is grinning at me with a come-hither look from under his helmet.
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than one hundred miles-per-hour.
154. Had a body part of mine below the neck pierced.
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol.
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild.
157. Ridden a horse.
158. Had major surgery. - Does getting a large gash on your head stitched up major surgery? No, diba?
159. Had sex on a moving train.
160. Had a snake as a pet.
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing. - I like plane rides too much.
163. Slept for more than thirty hours over the course of forty-eight hours.
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states.
165. Visited all seven continents.
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than two days.
167. Eaten kangaroo meat.
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground.
169. Been a sperm or egg donor.
170. Eaten sushi.
171. Had my picture in the newspaper.
172. Had two (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in my lifetime.
173. Changed someone's mind about something about which I care deeply.
174. Got someone fired for their actions.
175. Gone back to school. For my MA.
176. Parasailed.
177. Changed my name. When I was a kid, I made people call me Angelica. When I worked with PC, I was known as Marci. Who likes Drummers. Hahahahahahaha... sorry, private joke.
178. Petted a cockroach.
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes.
180. Read The Iliad.
181. Selected one "important" author who I missed in school, and read.
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because my apartment needed them.
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because I did it so many times, they figured out it was I.
184. Taught myself an art from scratch.
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt.
187. Skipped all my school reunions.
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language.
189. Been elected to public office.
190. Written my own computer language.
191. Thought to myself that I'm living my dream. In ballet class, everyday.
192. Had to put someone I love into hospice care.
193. Built my own PC from parts.
194. Sold my own artwork to someone who didn't know me.
195. Had a booth at a street fair. Does the Quill booksale and tarot booth in AS walk count?
196. Dyed my hair.
197. Been a DJ. On internet radio.
198. Found out someone was going to dump me via LiveJournal.
199. Written your own role playing game.
200. Been arrested.
85. Fallen in love and not had my heart broken. - I want to do this one day. I'm optimistic.
*boom* Ooooooh! Fortunaaaaaaa! *boom*
Danced Fiesta the other day in Intramuros. We were the finale and I believe the audience was happy to see us. I would say it was a great performance; I didn't make any obvious mistakes and I had fun. I count those as bad performances when I'm worried the entire time that I'm going to do something wrong; at this show, there were moments that were "Hey!!!" with worry, but overall, I was smiling (I'm supposed to be smiling) and it was heartfelt.
A nice moment. My solo (I have a solo in the middle of the coda of around 2 eights; it's just me and Sydney who have solos in the coda) ends with a held arabesque penchee. That's when my lifted leg is almost perpendicular to the floor, almost a straight vertical line with the leg that's still on the floor, and my body is bent forward to let my leg go higher. The first time I did this pose for Fiesta was also in Intramuros, on a different stage, and I almost fell because the floor was uneven and I couldn't find my balance. I saved it, but I wasn't happy with it. This time, I dipped into the penchee perfectly and held the pose long enough to get appreciative gasps from the audience and I heard a camera snapping in front of me. I want a copy of that!
Started rehearsals for Carmina Burana last night. I still know Fortuna even if it's been a year. I think I can probably dance Fortuna in my sleep. Casting's up and I'm not in the Masks dance anymore, I was promoted to Veni Veni. While it's a good thing that I'm promoted to Veni Veni and I do want to dance it, I will miss the Masks dance. An interesting trade off.
I will never complain about dance again. This is where I belong, definitely.
A nice moment. My solo (I have a solo in the middle of the coda of around 2 eights; it's just me and Sydney who have solos in the coda) ends with a held arabesque penchee. That's when my lifted leg is almost perpendicular to the floor, almost a straight vertical line with the leg that's still on the floor, and my body is bent forward to let my leg go higher. The first time I did this pose for Fiesta was also in Intramuros, on a different stage, and I almost fell because the floor was uneven and I couldn't find my balance. I saved it, but I wasn't happy with it. This time, I dipped into the penchee perfectly and held the pose long enough to get appreciative gasps from the audience and I heard a camera snapping in front of me. I want a copy of that!
Started rehearsals for Carmina Burana last night. I still know Fortuna even if it's been a year. I think I can probably dance Fortuna in my sleep. Casting's up and I'm not in the Masks dance anymore, I was promoted to Veni Veni. While it's a good thing that I'm promoted to Veni Veni and I do want to dance it, I will miss the Masks dance. An interesting trade off.
I will never complain about dance again. This is where I belong, definitely.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
what a beautiful day for dancing
I have to wake up relatively earlier than I normally do because we have a show tomorrow. We have a show tomorrow. Damn, it feels good saying that. Well, technically, we have a show in twelve hours and I have to be at ballet class in seven. So by all rights, I shouldn't be sitting at the computer blogging, I should get my beauty sleep. It's kinda hard to think I need beauty sleep right now though, as I'm just fizzing over with happy cola.
Before the incident that had me killing my old blog, Kit had lent me a DVD of The Company - a Neve Campbell movie showcasing the lives of ballet dancers in the Joffrey Ballet. It was a semi-abstract Robert Altman film that didn't have a real plot, being more of a Season in the Life of the Joffrey Ballet. Which is the best way to show the life of a ballet dancer, I think, more than Turning Pointe or Center Stage. Because a dancer's story doesn't end after an important performance, The Company showed Neve Campbell dance her important performance and then showed how nothing really changed much for her afterwards - she still had to work hard and strive for the roles that were still dangling in front of her. It's true what my Dad says: a dancer is only as good as her/his last show. So we dance again after that last show.
My sister didn't care much for the movie outside the dancing parts - she contends that it would have been more interesting if it had a plot. But I think it kinda did anyway. In The Company, Neve Campbell (if you've reached this far and are still asking "Neve Campbell can dance ballet?" well get over it, she's actually good, though she could make more fluid movements with her upper body) is on the brink of becoming a Principal, meaning she's getting more and more important roles. Luck gives her the lead in a Lar Lubovitch ballet and that performance is given an ovation and lots of praise at the after-party. Then she goes home alone and cries herself to sleep because her ex decided to talk to her at the after-party and she had to pretend that she was okay with him breaking up with her for another dancer. She had the biggest performance of her career, the performance that could change her status in the company, and yet she's crying herself to sleep because she feels so lonely.
At many points of the movie, I thought that she was like me. This was during the time I saw this movie. I was on the brink of getting better roles and there were so many things going against me (well, are actually, because these things still exist) - I don't have a specific body type, favoritism, manipulative co-dancers. And she cared so much and she was just getting this complex about how underrated she is. Well, it could be that I just assumed she was getting all depressed because I was more looking at an analogy and I careered it to make me feel better about myself.
When we went back to dancing, we promised Daddy that we will not complain or whine about dancing anymore, we will just dance. It makes sense - if I'm not happy and I have stuff to complain about, why am I dancing then? I realized, in my time away from dancing, that all the bad shit that goes on is not worth leaving altogether. I feel so grown up now.
In the movie, Neve Campbell meets James Franco, a restaurant chef and yes the same guy who played Harry Osborne in Spiderman. She falls in love and loses much of the angst she used to hold on too tightly too much to. See, love rocks. Whether it's the process or the man, or heaven help us, both. I liked how Neve Campbell still strove to become the best dancer she could be but since she was in love, she didn't care about the bad things about dance anymore. She was happy.
Kit and I are friends again. Perhaps not like before, but friends nevertheless. I am dancing with her in a trio in Carmina Burana; in the dance, we have to move like one. I am up to the task.
Before the incident that had me killing my old blog, Kit had lent me a DVD of The Company - a Neve Campbell movie showcasing the lives of ballet dancers in the Joffrey Ballet. It was a semi-abstract Robert Altman film that didn't have a real plot, being more of a Season in the Life of the Joffrey Ballet. Which is the best way to show the life of a ballet dancer, I think, more than Turning Pointe or Center Stage. Because a dancer's story doesn't end after an important performance, The Company showed Neve Campbell dance her important performance and then showed how nothing really changed much for her afterwards - she still had to work hard and strive for the roles that were still dangling in front of her. It's true what my Dad says: a dancer is only as good as her/his last show. So we dance again after that last show.
My sister didn't care much for the movie outside the dancing parts - she contends that it would have been more interesting if it had a plot. But I think it kinda did anyway. In The Company, Neve Campbell (if you've reached this far and are still asking "Neve Campbell can dance ballet?" well get over it, she's actually good, though she could make more fluid movements with her upper body) is on the brink of becoming a Principal, meaning she's getting more and more important roles. Luck gives her the lead in a Lar Lubovitch ballet and that performance is given an ovation and lots of praise at the after-party. Then she goes home alone and cries herself to sleep because her ex decided to talk to her at the after-party and she had to pretend that she was okay with him breaking up with her for another dancer. She had the biggest performance of her career, the performance that could change her status in the company, and yet she's crying herself to sleep because she feels so lonely.
At many points of the movie, I thought that she was like me. This was during the time I saw this movie. I was on the brink of getting better roles and there were so many things going against me (well, are actually, because these things still exist) - I don't have a specific body type, favoritism, manipulative co-dancers. And she cared so much and she was just getting this complex about how underrated she is. Well, it could be that I just assumed she was getting all depressed because I was more looking at an analogy and I careered it to make me feel better about myself.
When we went back to dancing, we promised Daddy that we will not complain or whine about dancing anymore, we will just dance. It makes sense - if I'm not happy and I have stuff to complain about, why am I dancing then? I realized, in my time away from dancing, that all the bad shit that goes on is not worth leaving altogether. I feel so grown up now.
In the movie, Neve Campbell meets James Franco, a restaurant chef and yes the same guy who played Harry Osborne in Spiderman. She falls in love and loses much of the angst she used to hold on too tightly too much to. See, love rocks. Whether it's the process or the man, or heaven help us, both. I liked how Neve Campbell still strove to become the best dancer she could be but since she was in love, she didn't care about the bad things about dance anymore. She was happy.
Kit and I are friends again. Perhaps not like before, but friends nevertheless. I am dancing with her in a trio in Carmina Burana; in the dance, we have to move like one. I am up to the task.
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