I have writer's block again. And therefore, I have blogger's block, since the frickin' writer's block is in the way. Anyway, even if I haven't added even a single word to that frickin' writer, I'm gonna blog. I don't care if I have nothing to submit to my editor.
Which is a good segue to what I want to blog about: my freelance work. Meaning to say, I don't want to pimp my pen anymore. I've long, long ago decided to not pimp my body (hehehe, I mean I decided I'm never going to dance anything that's not ballet for money, or create dances for ballet students' intermission numbers or direct whatever corporate eklavu) and I've properly stayed away from that, thank God. Now, I'm so turned off from pimping my pen that I'm thisclose to minimalist living (no more dinners out, no more new shoes, no more Time Out Chocettes). I'm glad I still have parents who ask me, "Do you need money?" I may start to say yes, one of these days.
Mikah and I were talking about this new aversion of mine, and asking about my aversion to racketeering in general. This is something I'm not used to, but I'm slowly enjoying - he is often asking me why I do things, why I don't do things, why I feel the way I do about certain things, and these things I usually take for granted as just things I do just because, well, I'm starting to figure them out because Mikah is looking at me and waiting for an answer.
So, I've figured out why I don't like freelance work, or any kind of racket. It takes time away from the things I do want to do and that I'm interested in. And currently, there are a LOT of things I want to do. Well, not a lot, but I have a full schedule. Never mind that these things don't make money. I've spread myself too thin a lot, to know that this is no way to live. Who needs Time Out Chocettes anyway?
I'm not poor yet; I'm looking at the future. My harassment-free future. I think God is trying to tell me, "Hey, you quit your job, and all the money that goes with, to dance. If you're gonna do something for money, it's not gonna ever be easy ever again." He's right, it's not easy. Can't blame me for wishing so.
I have to attempt to write that darn article now. I have no data. I called a dozen places today and if their numbers were not yet in service, they weren't helpful or cooperative. All the while, I wish I were revising my thesis (which is due tomorrow, aaargh). Or blogging. Or answering one of Mikah's "But why?" questions. But here I go. *brave face*
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Yes, my little kitty has to paint. I hope we still have enough money to hang out, though.
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