patience is a virtue

thesis journal entry # 11

I take back everything I said in thesis journal entry # 10.

This is the thing: I was PMS-ing. And I was slightly out of shape because we had a three day non-dancing vacation. And my partner was still learning the frigging dance. So it was bound to suck. When we rehearsed again Friday, Anatoli was able to correct things that Nino was doing wrong, like not stepping out to keep me centered in some spots and not holding my body low enough to slide me across the stage.

(--- is it just me or did that last description sound hot? Man, I can really have one track of a mind if I want it to be --)

And I guess I'm impatient about getting it right. I have always been this antsy about being perfect. Next time it threatens to lord over a rehearsal, or anything, anything at all, I have to smash it down. Patience is a virtue, dearie. Yes, I'm talking to myself.

What's nice about Friday's rehearsal is Anatoli's confidence in me. Usually, he's changing steps for people, saying, "Not nice, maybe do this (easier step instead), better for you." I'm always appalled that, in a professional setting, choreography is changed so that the dancer has an easier time dancing. What kind of professional dancing is that? How do we up our standards of technique and proficiency if we allow that to happen? It kinda says a lot about the state of dancing in this country, but I'm never going to go public and say that aloud. Outside this blog, of course. May nobody who matters ever find this and hold it against me.

Anyway, back to me, he would be correcting Nino because he knows I can do certain things properly, so if it looks wrong, it's because Nino's not holding me properly. And it turns out to be just the case. Or if it's my fault, he'll only have to point out what I'm doing wrong and I get it right away and he holds his palm out and says, "You see?" Like he knows I can do it, I just didn't know how. It's very encouraging.

I'm getting my groove back, turning more, jumping higher, though I have to work on smoothening out my transitions and keeping my center in check. Things like those never really go away, they just have to be reminded that they exist. Which is why I'm supposed to take ballet class every day.