merf...

thesis journal entry #3

Preliminary rehearsals for the Davao performance. Actually, since we have only a few days to rehearse for the Davao performance, day one is preliminary stuff for recalling the dance, in this case the Grand Pas de Deux from the second act of La Bayadere, and for any new people doing the dance for the first time to learn the steps, etc, and then day two is the big rehearsal of the entire repertoire, en pointe and on performance level. But then, we get used to it.

We haven't been performing the La Bayadere Grand Pas in the longest time, so even if my variation used to feel like second nature when I danced it six months ago, there's a lot that I'm not sure about. But after a couple of rehearsals, I remember everything again. Which is good because when I danced it in July, I was dancing it flawlessly each performance. I think I said as much to my sister and she was all, "Ang kapal mo naman."

But kakapalan aside, I felt really safe in the fact that I was doing my variations flawlessly. Meaning, I could do it without worrying about it and would be able to enjoy myself while dancing it. I've been thinking that this is how I want to dance, without worry, with only enjoyment and accomplishment that I did a wonderful job. Otherwise, what would you be dancing for?

I've been recently feeling irritated about the post-show dressing room conversations, involving all the mistakes they did during the show in high-pitched complaint mode. Why do that? I wish I could tell them not to stress about it, to take their mistakes and use them in the studio when we rehearse so that we can learn from them. But I think they're actually enjoying the whining. I just wish they'd do it far away from me.