Ever since I had ever heard/heard of Blind Melon, I have loved them - all of them, all of their songs, everything they do, everything. I relate to all their songs. I am the happy, dancing bee girl, who "just wants someone to say to me, I wanna be there when you wake..."
I am the little lost kid who "only wanted to be 16 and free..."
I "scrape my toes across the floor," hoping for some direction and purpose.
I am the surfer who was "hit hard, really hard by the tide" and was livid/livin'.
I'm sure there are a lot of people who love Blind Melon this much - there are a lot of tribute websites out there to prove that I cannot lay claim to being their biggest fan. But I would still lay claim to it because I don't know anybody who loves Blind Melon the way I love them (only Doiks comes close, and on some level, he's the only one who really understands). I know my world is kinda small in comparison to the vastness of the universe (I only have 189 friends on Friendster and 6 on MySpace, after all), but I feel I transcend mere fandom. I can not only sing the songs to you, I can sing the instruments. I love them in their entirety. I would love to manufacture their textures as a fabric so I can wrap myself in a large blanket of their music when I go to sleep. I listen to the songs so much, they're like my life's soundtrack. And it's been consistent, my answer to "What's your favorite band?" all these years. Sure, I also mention the staples of every era in the 30 years I was alive - The Beatles, Dave Matthews Band, The Purplechickens, Incubus, Smashing Pumpkins, Razorback, Rage Against the Machine, Aerosmith, The Dawn, Audioslave, STP, Wolfgang, Led Zep. But it always comes back to Blind Melon, sitting at the front of the heap, no matter what happens in my life.
It's like how Mozart died early. There have been debates whether Mozart would still be turning out sheets and sheets of music if he hadn't died in his thirties, and if that happened, would people still love him and consider him a genius today? If Shannon hadn't died, would they one day make the album that would disappoint me (as have some of the bands I had just mentioned) and I wouldn't love them the way I do?
I just realized this: I love Tori Amos the same reasons why I love Blind Melon. That's comforting.
And people know I love Blind Melon, like crazy. From my baby brother amused that I can be completely sober and listen to a band you can only listen to while high (his words, not mine) to my cousin Anne sending me the two CDs as soon as Soup came out in the States because I was singing "Change" to her over the phone, to Doiks burning Nico for me as a gift (which I have yet to receive, hinty hint hint). To whovever angel it was who anonymously sent me the ringtone of "No Rain" and made my old phone a happy little 3210. To Mayo, opening my walkman to find the tape of the first album in it and asking me, "Hindi ka na nag-progress?"
I am proud to say I will never progress from Blind Melon. Or even if I do, I come back to it. Like home.
"And so I wave, goodbye! I'm flyin'... I'm flyin'..." Hee.
I used to have this Creem magazine with the band on the cover, interviewed by Robert Hunter of Grateful Dead. I wasn't aware of how valuable that particular issue of that magazine was at that time and I cut up the cover and taped it on my weekday house's bathroom door. It's still there. My uncle used the bathroom once and said, "Who are these comedians?" And I said, "Those are my buds."
When I'm looking at my life the way I always do (with coffee mug in hand, journal lying open in front of me), I sometimes imagine that I'm in the song, "St. Andrew's Fall," wanting to "buy the sky hanging over this bed of mine," and hoping I can see whatever's there that everybody else can see. And I know it will be okay because "I don't think I can find an easier way..." As long as I don't fall off the 20 story building I'm sitting on, I guess.
Nowadays, I'm waiting for the "biggest part of my life to unfold." And I sit in my sleepyhouse, listen to Blind Melon and am still constantly inspired. This blog is me writing "my words on the face of today."
And then they'll paint it.
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3 comments:
to quote the pinoycentral girls "blind melon love!" (i have no idea how to make a heart on this thing.) i could have sworn i gave you nico na. i'll burn you another copy, sabay ko with the velvet revolver.
funny comment by younger brother (i'm assuming it's the one that dresses like stone cold steve austin :P), i get the same line from people in the office. i still remember the time we sang galaxie. sober. hehehehehe.
thanks to you and luis, i rediscovered blind melon. i loved them back in high school and i bought a copy of soup last year. 'walk' saved me from drowning in depression numerous times. love you! -kitch
yes, blind melon saves :) it was the other brother, the prince, who remarked that. i think all the people in the states whom he knew listened to blind melon were stoned all the time.
that live galaxie performance of ours is one of my favorite pc memories. wish we recorded it, but then it wouldn't have come out the same, huh? miss you, luis, miss you kitch :)
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